Let’s get one thing straight: This isn’t a ‘gentle parenting’ blog. This is a ‘holy shit, how is there another laundry pile?’ blog. A ‘why does my toddler treat bedtime like a WWE match?’ blog. A ‘I will sell my soul for 10 minutes of silence and a hot coffee’ blog. Welcome to The Potty Mouth Panda—where we keep it real, raw, and really fucking funny.
Who TF Am I?
I’m a millennial mom, caffeine addict, professional chaos wrangler, and the unhinged friend you didn’t know you needed. I survive on iced coffee, sarcasm, and the occasional vegetable I stole off my kid’s plate. My credentials? I’ve navigated public tantrums, meal-planning fails, and work-from-home-with-toddlers like a goddamn war hero (minus the dignity).
What to Expect Here:
- Coffee-Fueled Rants: “Think TED Talks for moms who haven’t slept since 2019.”
- Unfiltered Parenting Stories: “From ‘look at this cute craft!’ to ‘why is there glitter in my bra?’ in 2.5 seconds.”
- Meal Planning for People Who Hate Meal Planning: “Spoiler: Sometimes dinner is cereal. Judge me.”
- Dark Humor as a Coping Mechanism: “If we don’t laugh, we’ll cry. And my mascara’s too expensive for that.”
- Zero Bullshit Tips: “No gatekeeping, no toxic positivity—just real talk on surviving modern motherhood with your sanity mostly intact.”
Why ‘Potty Mouth Panda’?
Because pandas are cute but will absolutely wreck shit when provoked—just like moms. Also, I swear a lot…So if you’re ready to laugh at the chaos (because crying is so 2020), you’re in the right fucking place. Hit ‘subscribe,’ pour that cold coffee, and let’s do this.
P.S. Comment below with your current level of ‘mom burnout’ (1-10, 10 being ‘I just hid in the pantry to eat a candy bar’). Mine’s a solid 7.5—thanks, laundry..
The Potty Mouth Panda 