WTF’s for Dinner Wednesday: One-Pot Taco Rice That Doesn’t Suck

So, What the Hell’s for Dinner?

It’s Wednesday. The fridge is half-empty, you’re done with takeout, and the only thing your kids will eat is something with cheese. Enter One-Pot Taco Rice. It’s what you make when you want the flavor of tacos but not the cleanup or the tiny bowls of toppings that end up fossilizing in your sink. Cheap ingredients, minimal effort, loads of flavor. Even the pickiest eaters in your house will finish their bowl and ask for more (or at least won’t threaten to run away).

What Do I Need?

• 1 pound ground beef or turkey
• 1 small onion, finely chopped (about 1/2 cup; or skip it if you live with onion haters)
• 1 packet taco seasoning (or 2 tablespoons homemade: chili powder, cumin, paprika, garlic powder, onion powder, salt, pepper)
• 1 cup long-grain white rice (not instant, not fancy, just basic rice)
• 1 (14.5 oz) can diced tomatoes (regular, fire-roasted, whatever you found on sale)
• 2 cups chicken or beef broth (or 2 cups water + bouillon cube for budget mode)
• 1 cup frozen corn (or canned, drained)
• 1 cup shredded cheddar cheese (or a blend—let’s not overthink cheese)
• Optional: chopped cilantro, sliced green onions, sour cream for topping

How the Hell Do I Make It?

1. Grab your biggest, ugliest skillet or a Dutch oven. Throw in the ground beef and onion. Cook over medium heat until the meat isn’t pink. Drain the fat (or don’t, if you enjoy living dangerously).
2. Dump in the taco seasoning and give it a good stir. If it looks dry, splash in a tablespoon of water for vibes.
3. Add the rice, canned tomatoes (juice and all), the broth, and the corn. Stir like you mean it, making sure the rice gets wet, not sad and stuck up top.
4. Bring the whole thing to a boil. Lower the heat, slap a lid on it, and simmer for about 18-20 minutes, or until the rice is cooked and looks like dinner instead of bird food. Stir once or twice if you remember, but don’t get precious about it.
5. Turn off the heat. Sprinkle the cheese on top, put the lid back for another two minutes so it gets all melty and unholy.
6. Scoop into bowls. Top with whatever you’ve got (cilantro, green onions, sour cream, tortilla chips if you’re extra like that). Done!

Swaps & Shortcuts (Because Life is a Dumpster Fire)

• No beef? Ground turkey or chicken works. Hell, use beans for a meatless thing.
• No cheese? Skip it (blasphemy, but it’s fine). Or use less expensive cheese, or whatever shredded blend gave you points at your trashy grocery store.
• Rice-resistant child? Sub with small pasta (cook time will change). Or try cauliflower rice if you love pain and suffering.
• Tomato loathers? Use salsa or swap plain tomato sauce in.
• Super broke? Water + bouillon. Canned everything. Use whatever meat’s on sale. This is a judgment-free zone.
• Can’t handle spicy? Use mild taco seasoning, skip the jalapeños, and watch your family gloat about surviving another meal.

Why It Works (Besides Witchcraft)

The whole damn thing happens in one pot (less bitching about dishes). It hits the “I want Mexican food but I refuse to leave my house” craving, uses the random crap already in your kitchen, and kids freaking eat it. Plus, it’s like seven bucks for the entire freakin’ batch. That’s some budget voodoo right there.

This is the kind of recipe I build my weekly plans around.